When will it be right?

So Saturday night I got the moment I was waiting for-
I got the guy I secretly adore alone
In a tent with me, which might sound risque
If I wasn't a coward.
Because I was hiding under a blanket
Because we didn't want anyone to find us -
Not us together, just each of us alone, hiding from the same authority -
And I kept thinking of leaning over to kiss him
Or something stupidly brilliant and daring like that
Or even telling him that I sort of liked him a lot
But I kept thinking
What if he says no?
What if I'm stuck in a tent with someone revolted by me
For half an hour
When I want nothing more than to hug him?
To have him?
And I lay there, entirely aware of him two feet away
And he lay there, silent, listening to his iPod
And I thought that if I were a heroine
Of some amazing novel
I would do something.
But I didn't.
And now I think -
If I really wanted him -
wouldn't I have done something?
But I still do, so much.
It just wasn't right.
When will it be right?
I'm the writer
Of my own story
But I can't even get the ink on the page.