It's so hard to accept sometimes that I'm never going to look like an anorexic model.
It's sad that I even long to, but it's such a goddamn pervasive image in our society that I just can't escape from it.
Maybe if I wasn't horrifically awkward and reserved around boys I could let myself find someone who thought I was beautiful, but I'm shy and cowardly at heart and it's just impossible.
Well, not impossible, but very improbable. I'm sure there's someone out there that could give me that confidence but if I'm still at the point where I need them to I don't think I will find them, nor should I.
I need to just accept myself. I'm trying. I want to be at a healthy weight. 145's not terrible, it's just not great. I think 125-130 is reasonable.
This year will be different. It will be mine. I'll find my strength, my courage, and my confidence, because no matter what the next year will be an adventure and I need to be ready, in my own way.
Au revoir, cheries, until next time, whenever that may be.
xKS
It's sad that I even long to, but it's such a goddamn pervasive image in our society that I just can't escape from it.
Maybe if I wasn't horrifically awkward and reserved around boys I could let myself find someone who thought I was beautiful, but I'm shy and cowardly at heart and it's just impossible.
Well, not impossible, but very improbable. I'm sure there's someone out there that could give me that confidence but if I'm still at the point where I need them to I don't think I will find them, nor should I.
I need to just accept myself. I'm trying. I want to be at a healthy weight. 145's not terrible, it's just not great. I think 125-130 is reasonable.
This year will be different. It will be mine. I'll find my strength, my courage, and my confidence, because no matter what the next year will be an adventure and I need to be ready, in my own way.
Au revoir, cheries, until next time, whenever that may be.
xKS
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