Feathers In Her Hair

Sorry guys, I've been on tumblr lately.
Here's the reality. College is in less than three months.
I weight 144 pounds. I think that's the lightest I've been in years, but that kind of sickens me.
I know I'm probably channeling some psychological bullshit, but I need to lose weight. At least 20 pounds in the next three months.
I'm on diet pills, I've been working out. All that shit. Whatever.
This needs to happen.
I can't keep looking at my stomach and being grossed out.
I can't show some guy on chatroulette my chest - and my flab beneath it, and think he might have flinched.
I think he did.
I'm going to start documenting my shit, just to give myself some consistency. Food and exercise daily, etc.
So yeah.

Today:

Oatmeal - 160 cal
Milk - 2/3 C. - 100 cal
Coffee & Cream - 60 cal
Dried blueberries - 110 cal
Protein shake - 140 cal
Almonds - 60 cal
Sushi - 300 cal
apricot - 17
green tea - 0

Plus - 650 or so with that hardcore workout.

That comes to...317 net total. With daily life crap I'd say that's pretty good.
Beach tomorrow, ughhh. I get so self-conscious.


I'm going to the gym to do elliptical for an hour and weights after. I slacked yesterday but 2 more days besides today and I'm at my 5-day a week goal for working out, this week anyway.
Orientation's the 14th of july and the river - as in bathing suit galore - is the 23rd. 10 down? I think it's possible.